To be someone you're not.

All around me are mementos of my life.

But the problem with such memories is that I was not happy with who I was.

So how do I put in place things to remind me to be someone that I'm not?

Where is the picture that will steal to remind me to be kinder?

Where is the old tattered letter to tell me to mean what I say?

Where can I find the old T-shirt that speaks to my irresponsibility?

Everyone always holds dear to the idea of being true to yourself, and I too am guilty of such a feat, but remaining unwilling to accept the possibility that we are flawed and damaged and operating at dangerous levels seems almost taboo.

I recognize my flaws but refuse to accept them as a part of me. I was born a flawless creature and acquired broken pieces, flawed views and damaged patterns.

Time to undo what's been done.

RECONSTRUCTION PROJECT WEEK 0

Blogworld,

I am attempting yet another physical reconstruction project.

I am going to be increasing my water intake and decreasing my consumption of sodas and other products that are produced with massive amounts of High Fructose Corn Syrup. I will also no longer be eating ANY fried or fast foods.

I am also going to be going on a more strenuous workout program as I feel that my current one has reached it's maximum turn out.

Let's see how long this lasts.

Blog Makeover

Totally in love with the new Design!

Project Change

Lately, I haven't been in the mood for a lot of things, mainly things of negative nature.

I'm not a really emotionally loose person and have very little patience for people who are weak in nature or incapable of controlling their emotions and or temper.

I am not a person of social drama and do not enjoy attempting to untangle any knots that others have tied around their own throats.

I will no longer be engaging in any of the following in a better attempt to rid my life of such people and actions...

-Gossiping (of any level)
-Backstabbing (listening to it or engaging in it)
-Promise Breaking
-Hypocrisy (people and actions)

Just for a start.

Today

WOULD have been one year with you, but we tripped near this finnish line and still lie in the dirt just short of its mark.

It was nice for a moment, that moment that we shared on the river bank, but reality reminded us that we are not matched for one another.

Goodbye Kiddo.

You know that you'll always be The First.

And I know that I'll always be The Best :) Kidding. (not really)

Happy Anniversary Jake.

Jumping

Despite fear and inner angst and objection, I am moving on.

In August, I will be moving to New York City. I will not be attending school for the first semester as I transition to city life. I am passed the planning stage and cannot be persuaded otherwise at this point.

I am constantly feeling stagnant and further trapped in a life that less than proves worthy of my homage. I will work diligently to create the life that I've always dreamt of, short of extensive preparations and safety nets.

I WILL succeed. This is the RIGHT choice as no other choice will be considered for execution into existence. The path of the other shall go unwalked and will be missed.

I shall bid farewell to this city and these people.

I will become a stronger man, focused on what will be finally obtainable...my dreams. Yes, my dreams are worth the exchange, the loss, the sadness.