And so it goes...

You know when people say that their life has "fallen apart"?

I wish that my life could fall apart.

Falling apart means that at one point everything was together.

I'm losing everything. My home, my job, my self.

I lost Antonnio to my faults and now they come to claim everything else.

Take it, but please don't leave me.

I'm only 23, but I'm already so tired of this battle.

I used to rely on the thought of a "God" that was above watching my suffering in hopes that my perseverance would lead me to where he needs me to be. But the reality is that believing in a God is much easier than accepting that you don't really matter and there is no divine plan, just the rotation of the earth around the Sun.

I have no strength in myself. My trust issues, unfortunately, apply to myself more than others. I don't believe that I'll ever get it together, I've entered a world of debt, low income and massive amounts of doubt.

I have no idea what to do now...