In a city full of opportunities and possibilities, I find myself alone. I spend my days in this room, staring at empty inboxes and unchanged pages. I spend so much time missing my old life and my old friends as I am unable to replace the enormous hole that gapes in my chest. Monty, Josh, Trent, Dakota, Vashti...names that I mutter constantly in my sleep, faces that I wish I could turn and see. This apartment is damp with deep pre-existing resentments and stagnation and procrastination and social solitude. I am trying my best to fight it, but without the wings to fly I'm ground bound for the time being. I long for people to call my own, I long for names to whisper joy into. I long for someone to match the love that I hold for those still in Marshall. The people here walk through their daily lives without the courtesy to stop and smile at each other. I doubt that I will ever become so jaded and cold. I am a midwestern lover. I am a brilliant light of positivity and optimism yearning to see the potential good in everything and everyone. Maybe I'll change the city rather than waiting for the right bandwagon to hop aboard.
I am without a boyfriend and am completely satisfied in the fact. There is a man that I am somewhat waiting for...okay, not somewhat...I am waiting for. He's someone that I've been interested in for more than a year now, but he recently moved home but plans to come back to the city. I suppose that it's fair to say that I'm holding out for the chance to find something genuine in him and not settle for something temporarily satisfying.
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